Assorted Topics

Here are some thoughts on various topics that I've had as I have been riding, followed by a quick summary of my Third Week on the road:

Dehydration

I have become something of an amateur expert on dehydration. Back in College, at the Upstate Normal School, I took a course called "Physiological Psychology". I can remember Dr. Sherman saying that eating and drinking are controlled by different mechanisms. People frequently eat too much food, which is why we have the expression "overeat"; but they rarely drink too many liquids, and therefore we have no such word as "overdrink".

This all came back to me some years later, after I took up bicycle touring. If you become dehydrated, your body will prompt you to drink more fluids. A lot more fluids. More than you can absorb. For example, some years ago, I biked from Farmington, CT to Pittsfield, MA on a very hot and humid August day. My mouth kept telling me to drink more fluid. That evening, as I walked around Pittsfield, I could hear all the extra liquid sloshing and gurgling in my distended stomach. There may be no such thing as "Overdrinking", but all the same, it is a very uncomfortable experience.

However, out here in the Western U.S., where it is hot and extremely dry, dehydration takes on a whole different aspect. You will lose an incredible amount of moisture through your skin without even noticing it. When I finally make it to a town with an all-in-one gas station/Restaurant/Convenience Store, I find that I can pour an incredible amount of cold liquid down my throat. It is like watering a Cactus. It just seems to disappear somewhere inside me, bypassing my stomach, and going directly to my tissues.

Experts will tell you to drink a gallon of water per hour of heavy exertion. There is only one problem with this. The human mouth does not want to drink that much water. It wants flavor and fizz. Just look at the ratio of bottled water to carbonated beverages in any convenience store. My current theory is that some of our direct ancestors lived in caves next to springs of naturally-carbonated water, like Perrier in France. Unconsciously, we have been trying to recreate this situation.

I find that if I pour enough water, soda, and sports glog into myself, my body will then grudgingly agree to let go of some fluid. One sure sign that you are extremely dehydrated: your bladder is full, but your body tells you, "I'm not letting anything out, until you put something in to replace it."

Wildlife

One of the compensations of being out here is that I get to see a lot of wildlife. Primarily White-tailed Deer and Springhorn Antelopes. The antelope are always in small herds, the deer come either alone or in groups. They don't know what to make of me as I roll along on my bike, and generally go bounding away. Horses also tend to run off in alarm. I saw what was either a very large brown fox or small coyote running across a field. As soon as it spotted me, it turned right around and began running back the way it came.

Cows are the exception, they just stand there, staring at me with a puzzled look on their faces. "What the heck is that? You'll never get me up in one of those things, Mildred!" Cows out here tend to the hearty range types, like Black or Red Angus; but I have seen some Belted Galloways, and even some of the standard Western Movie brown cattle with white faces. The most enterprising cow I've seen was one of the latter. She managed to get out of her field somehow, so she could graze on the opposite side of the road. In this case, the grass really was greener on the other side

One morning, as I was almost out of Montana, I heard a chattering sound that wasn't coming from my deraileur. It was Prairie Dogs, calling out and then ducking down, to let their friends know some kind of unearthly thingamabob was coming. The ones further along and farther from the road, having been forewarned, sat up on their little mounds of dirt and stared at me. I knew that expression. "What the heck is that? You'll never get me up in one of those things, Mabel!"

There are too many birds to talk about here, so I'll just mention the Killdeer, which are all along the road.. Every time I hear their piping cry, it takes me right back to recess in Grade School: "She did it!", "He did it!", "She did it!" Same thing for the flowers. There's a profusion of multi-colored wildflowers along the roadside, so I'll just mention one kind: it looks exactly like a Black-Eyed Susan, but the center is blood red.

Interesting Signs

In Kenmore, WA, at a Strip Mall: "Kenmore Square". The Anchor Tenant was a store called "Stupid Prices".

In window of small town Cafe in Eastern Wash.: "Eat here, or we'll both starve!"

Street Sign In Idaho: "Pommes De Terre Lane".

Name of Pet-Grooming Parlor, E. Broadway, Missoula: "Cats On Broadway".

Sign in the window of the "Lacy Boutique", somewhere in Eastern Montana, "We now have clothing in Women's sizes".

Way out in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming: "Lonesome Country Lane".

On "Culvers", in Watertown, South Dakota: "Frozen Custard Butterburgers" (as RayRay, America's cutest meat puppet, would say, "Yummo"!)

Historical Markers

The roads in South Dakota are dotted with "Historical Interest Markers." Go ahead and avoid them, as apparently nothing interesting has ever happened in SD. The events commemorated by these markers are lame and/or depressing, or even surreal, like the signs in a 99 Restaurant.

Example 1: "In 1883, on this spot, hardy Pioneer Ezekiel Durnzell laid his hat on a rock, so he could take a drink from the nearby stream. His hat was stolen by a playful Indian. Durnzell relentlessly tracked him down and killed him."

Example 2: "On this spot, from 1890 to 1923, stood a church dedicated to St. Melentharb, the Patron of Dairy Products. They called it the 'Prairie Church' because it was a church, and it was on the Prairie. People went to services there every week, religiously. During the Great Blizzard of '08, worshipers were trapped there for
several days by snow drifts. Miraculously, none of them were bitten by a rattlesnake."

[Note to the 99 Corporate Offices: I LOVE your signs. Coming up with them would be my Dream Job. If you have any openings, let me know. MDC]

Quick Summary, Jul 1-7:

Have gone from Lame Deer, Montana to Montevideo, Minnesota. Total miles: 1,583. Average per day: 75.36. Just outside Lame Deer (i.e., after 566 miles across Montana), saw first person actually riding on a horse. The last part of Montana was tough; but it's been even hotter in South Dakota and Minn. than in Montana. Coming soon: Taken In, in Broadus! On to Alzada! Wyoming (all 22 miles of it)! Taken Sick in Belle Fourche! Rousted at Midnight in Newell! Rescued from the Desolate Wastes! And more...